cause the steps i made are histories i write.
★ hiyaaaaaaakkkkkk ★
Monday, December 29, 2008
one word..
BUSY!
my blog will get dusty. HAHA
ouh, we went to gym instead of the pool today. i wanna swim so much though. but the weather tk mengizinkan. so it's okay. heh. i had fun. and i only got 2 freaking classes. ouh, i'm having 2 freaking classes again tmr. with 4 hours break in between. SEXAYYY ey? right.. *slaps self*
one sentence..
KU MERINDUKANMU,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _..
love,
trish
11:51 PM
★ supernatural night light. ★
Sunday, December 28, 2008
and i miss you, alot..
sighhhh..
moon, light up my nights.
love,
trish
2:27 AM
★ that flyer ★
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
that flyers we only had a glance on.
i had a nice day today. thank you girls! from morning till late. (:
i'm off to meet the friend.
i'll blog proper about today soon. (:
love,
trisy.
10:59 PM
★ projects burning the midnight. ★
ouh, guess what? i got training at 8am tmr! (like 7 hours time) and i have to rush to school for project meeting, and thennnnnn i have to rush to town to meet the buddies! how AWESOME! (:
ouh God, this can't be happening. OKAY TOODLES! i need to get going!
love,
trisy
pronounced as trish
1:21 AM
★ play this! ★
Monday, December 22, 2008
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own
1. i hope you're doing fine out there w/o me. cause i'm not doing so good w/o you.
2. you're taken by surprise. you found a way inside my heart.
3. i'll hold a place for you inside. inside my heart for you and i.
4. cintaku, cintaku padamu. tak besar seperti dulu.
5. when you have to look away. when you don't have much to say. thats when i love you
6. with bloodshot eyes. i watch you sleeping. The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading
7. can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms. it's empty tonight and i'm all alone. get me through this one.
8. hope this is the last time cause i'd never say no to you. this conversation's been dead on arrival.
9. Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.
11. In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun. Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed, This world you must've crossed... you said...
16. pertemuan yg tiada terduga kini kita saling bermesra. masa berganti hati diubati mekarnya cinta mula dirasai.
17. it's been the longest winter w/o you. i didnt know where to turn to. see somehow i cant forget you. after all that we've been through.
18. every night i'll pray. i'll have you here some day. i'll count the starts tonight and hope with all i might. and when i close my eyes. you'll be right by my side.
19. I'm lying alone with my head on the phone. Thinking of you till it hurts. I know you hurt too but what else can we do. Tormented and torn apart
20. so you stole my heart. and left me a ransom letter. demanding to treat you better.
23. now you're gone. i realized my love for you was strong. and i missed you here now you're gone. i keep waiting here by the phone. with your pictures hanging on the wall.
26. aku melintasi malam sepiku. tanpa dirimu disisiku kekasih. rasa sesal yg selalu menghantui ku. disaat ku campak kan dirimu, manis..
27. it's hard to wake up. when the shades have been pulled shut. this house is haunted it's so pathetic.
love,
Batrisyah
11:40 AM
★ that stranger i miss ★
Sunday, December 21, 2008
majority has decided. i shall remain blogging. not sure with this same URL, but for now.. this will be it. (:
for what happened last week, i stood strong.. knowing you made the decision. knowing it's final. stranger, i miss you.
got in JB on Monday. went off to Malacca on Tuesday.
the trip to Malacca was nice.
it was just.. different. we didn't do any shopping.
well, i've got nothing to buy also.. FRIENDS, nothing for you guys this time. sorrrry!
the above 20yrs had a night drive. i wanted to follow. but was assigned to babysit the kids. =.= truth was, the whole trip was forever about spiritual events. they got home almost at 12 or maybe later, not sure too. they said it was fun. hurhur. next day was to Gunung Ledang, no. i did not dive in. i was plain lazy to change and get dressed. haha. how i miss those times when i had to climb that mount. ahhh. nice..
visited Tun Teja's Grave. after that we had a nice dinner, seafood! (as you guys know. i don't eat seafood that much so i just ate a lil. i was enjoying the chilli kicap more than anything else) got back to kampong quite late. i slept till the sun rises.
packed to get going. enjoyed here and there a lil. visited Atok Long, then went to Great Grandmum's grave. i did not go in due to the outfit i was in. abit in appropriate. headed back to Pagoh for lunch. went further down back to JB! HOME SWEET HOME! *not really*
kids were at my place. so we basically sang and played the guitar. (jiwang moments)
next day was again another jiwang day. rode around with bro's bike. haha. mcm paham sia basirah bawak motor. i fell once when i wanna park the bike. but nothing happen to me. just a lil scratch on abg's bike. no worries! ((: few round around the area. had enough. i'mjust afraid if i get into an accident or something. it's not my life that i'm afraid. it's abg's bike that i'm much much much more afraid of. haha!
went back to SG on sat by bus with Uncle Jal family. new road + causeway bus = no no! they drive like initial D. i flung out of my seat! i got home safe and sound with twin brother. HOME SWEET HOME! then i went over to pit! i had totally great time! thanks people! really! got home at 2am thanks to Firman for sending me home! greatly appreaciated! hee. kau la kawan! wanted to wait for Matiin, but he was just soooo slow! and Shim, sorry i had to leave you alone with all the other guys. i'm happy to meet my other 5 girls! and those other guy friends! and i realised we did take the 6 girls pic. that's sad, can? but it's okay!
click on photo to see the album. (:
love,
Batrisyahh
11:08 AM
★ last one ★
Sunday, December 14, 2008
and there's something that you can do..
11:51 PM
★ bye! ★
Saturday, December 06, 2008
hello world! (:
i'm leaving this blog this way for a week.
and after so.. i'll delete everything.. yes, everything..
easily said.. i'm not gonna do blogging anymore.
no, don't worry. i'm fine.. really.
take care people! stare at my blog for as long as you want okay?
and ouh, do not miss me.
love,
me
6:05 PM
★ confessions - bloodshot eyes. ★
Friday, December 05, 2008
i took a break from school today. yeah, i'm at home. yesterday was too much for me to take. from morning till night.
i slept at 2 the night before. i put the alarm at 0800.
i woke up. i slept again.. i dreamt of you. i woke myself up..
it was 0830. i got 30 mins to prepare and go out in order for me to not be late for school.
so, i did everything so fast! really. after i bathed. eventually abg heard my voice (he was inside the toilet) he said, "you're not out yet? what time you going to school? want me to send you?"
being late, i said.. "i start at 10. if you wanna send, i'm okay with it." so i took my time to prepare. after which when he got out. he slacked. time check. 0915. i ask him if he;s sending me to school. he laughed and said, "no la. it's dangerous." i wasn't in the mood due to what happened the night before. so i just went out soon after. i flagged a cab. and there goes my 15bux.
statistics test.. me and dayah went in on time. switched on the comp. logged in. prepared the system. 1205hrs "you may begin" everyone started to type the data in. so did we. just when we wanted to get the figures.. a pop up came out. stating it can't proceed cause.. long story. and at this point of time. our timings we running. it took us.. almost 40mins to get it started. mind you, the test was only 50 - FIVE ZERO mins. a few questions not done thanks to that. i was panic so i just click whatever that i think was right. at the end of the test. we both got D. yeah. quite lucky.
i sat in the lecture alone. it was scary you know. cause it's LTK2 i'm talking about. super big lecture and well, they dimmed the lights. i sat and i think of whatever that was happening. i couldn't blame anyone but myself. i was holding back the river i had to give. but just when dayah and sayang and the rest came in. my river flowed like nobody's business. i'm sorry to make you worry guys. eventually, kak jam and the rest wasn't in. they didn't see what happened. things happen for a reason.. yesterday, was that day i had pressure all over me. i was trying so hard to save everything. but in the end, i/me/saya/aku threw it away just like that. thanks basirah. you (basirah) are the bestest bestfriend i ever had. i'm leaving everything now. leaving it for what it'll worth. i'm dwelling to much. i need encouragement. i need you.
i made myself smile on the later part of the day. well, atleast i forced myself to smile and laugh. and cry at the same time. i met the cousin, yana, at Pasir ris. while waiting for the Aunts and of course, mummy, to finish their movie at E!hub. (yet another place to go to at that point of time)
i had to put a mask. we got home at 11.
Aunty Lela, Aunty Baby, Aunty Linda, Mak Long, Aunty Ain, Mummy, Aunty Lilin (no, that's not me) picture taken by, Me. (:
all i need, is you.
love,
me
10:12 AM
★ wishes ★
tak mengerti bahwa ku harus memiliki mu selamanya.
i woke up with tears. it's very difficult for me to accept it.
pinch me and tell me it's real.
sigh..
8:41 AM
★ selfdenial ★
Thursday, December 04, 2008
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a broken picture
things are not what i wanted it to be.
but i was prepared for it.
i knew it that you'd leave me.
your actions were clear. thanks for making the right decision.
well, at least for yourself. no, i never wanted this.
it's okay dear, it's my fault..
just when i wanted to feel your face again.
after 12 days. lupekan saje basirah.
tk perlu diungkit. it won't go back like how i wanted it to be.
sudah la tu.
nausea and vomiting.
friends, help me.
thanks to all of those that comfort me.
i really appreciate it.
love,
me
11:21 PM
★ DID ★
mum. bring me on a holiday. i need it. in fact tmr would be a nice day to start with. I WISH.
bring me far far far far far far far far far far far away.. leave me there.. i don't want anyone to find me. I WISH. mum, i'm not gonna sleep.. its okay, right? I WISH. mum, i'm hungry.. very hungry. my last meal was at 10am on wednesday. i had a cup of coffee and bread and ostrich eggs. and.. i'm very lazy to eat now. maybe i shall go to bed. so i wont think of this hungry stomach.
mum.. i really need a break.. i can't take it anymore. i wanna cry everything out.. and in this case.. "mum" is my inner self. my other identity. maybe, i have DID. or maybe, i have depression. just depression not yet with suicidal thoughts. or.. i have schizophrenia. maybe.. i'm just a normal kid.. who just need a rest.. a rest from everything thats going on.
if only you'd help me. if only you'd give a helping hand.. if only(s).. it won't come true.
hold my hand, let me feel the trust. i need all of it.
but i'm not getting it..
love,
bsyra
12:09 AM
★ cinta ini membunuh ku ★
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
kau membuat ku berantakan
kau membuat ku tak karuan
kau membuat ku tak berdaya
kau menolakku acuhkan diriku
bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan
kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku
bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan
kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku
kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku
cause we're going no where.
11:19 PM
★ fk life ★
it got worst.
thanks uh..
$^%& life.
statistics is calling my name.
//edit//
my heart's turning cold..
i wanna scream my lungs out.
maybe i was having stupid assumptions.
but you know it yourself i don't like it.
so why do it?
seriously, throw me away if i mean nothing already.
my heart's turning real cold.
don't make me do it.
//edited//
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:37 PM
★ bug! ★
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
i'm sick
9:58 PM
★ kerana aku masih bisa hidup. haha. ★
i was.. LATE for schoool! do not ask why. and taxi drivers hate me i guess. i flagged and no one stopped for me. super sad. knowing i will be late, i decided to take the bus again.
i was nervous for presentation. with a full bladder. haha. eventually i forgot everything about my bladder when i was presenting. but, after the "thank you" slide, i cannnnnnot tahan! haha. and.. my day was very much, pretty. (:
Monday is Yesterday
i wore very merepek clothes. i didn't plan what to wear. so i just grab and you can look at the pic to see the outcome. i forgot what i did for that 3 hours break and everything. haha. i seriously forget. okay kental. i got home after MB. well, we weren't even in lecture at the first place. we slacked outside and exchange songs. as usual! haha. i slept like.. biibaa in the bus. open my eyes, i've reached tampines. Dad msged saying he's cooking Fish and Chips. so well, waited for him to get back. after which.. MAKANNNNN! ((((: at the end of the day. i was darn darn darn darn tired.
Blue plus Yellow plus Black plus Orange slippers.
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the Pretty face! (:
The Reflection.
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not forgetting the sauces. thousand island. mayo. chilli. ahhhh. pleasure.
.jpg)
crispy baby.
.jpg)
baked beans. always reminds me of Part A camp. HAHA!
.jpg)
That's the Chef!
.jpg)
just look at my plate! (:
Sunday is 2 Days back.
the day i had OLE! Tampines ((:
Eka, Lyy, Chua En Lai, Irene Ng, Self, XiuLing, Emcee for the day.
XL, Eka, Lyy, Self and JiaYi
Tiara and Self (before she get to stage)
wayyyyy before everything started. (still so bright/hot)
calefare! well, i wasn't singing. just LIP-sync. haha. macam paham kat back stage.
way way way way before. during lunch time.
Saturday is 3 Days back.
The day when the family was supposed to go to Expo, but tk jadi. and end up going to Chai Chee Seafood Restaurant.
my all time fav, crispy noodle. but i did not choose this.
OUR all time fav. you char kway!
i tried something new. Fried Oyster Sauce.
Dad was concentrating one what elder bro had to say. haha!
i am a happy woman! well, atleast for now. (: hee.
to you, do stay strong. life have to go on. this may be one of the biggest obstacle you need to overcome. so please do not give up alright. (: love you.
honey, i'm feeling very hypo. i need you. get the link?
and i feel like going to HQ tmr after school. cannnn? (:
love,
bsyra
7:20 PM
★ morning people ★
i'm awake very very very early to do my freaking fracking frooooking last min editing to my presentation slides.
something to say -> i dont know what to edit. i don't know what to say. i'm super scared of bombardment. seriously. ahhhhh. it's psychology i'm talking about. *kawan-kawan!! tolong!!!!*
okay.. another thing to say.. ->.....
my social life is currently very very very very very very LOWWWWW. believe me. well, except the fact that i met my friends cause there's some event. and we're the helpers. yeah.. very low social life, right?
and and.. i miss wearing this...
today is COC rehearsal. tmr is COC. lil bro went out with full U just now. KAKAK NAK IKOT! well, malia asked me if i wanna be the PC. but i can't, presentations are like.. banyak nak mampoz! i need a break. seriously. can i have a visit to the HQ later on? haha. or maybe tmr? pleaseee. ):
i'm missing my ncc people so much. girls meet up soon? plus khai. plus.. erm.. you know who all la! too much to mention. simpang?!?!?!?!?
okay. project calling my name. HURHURHUR. DIAM UH.
and love, meet soon?
love,
bsyra.
7:11 AM
★ Merindukanmu ★
Monday, December 01, 2008
Saat aku tertawa diatas semua
Saat aku menangisi kesedihanku
Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang
Selama aku masih bisa bernafas
Masih sanggup berjalan kukan slalu memujamu
Meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana
Dengarkanlah aku kumerindukanmu
Saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya
Saat aku meratapi kekalahanku
Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang
i'll update some other day.
i am really really tired.
tired of ystd's event.
and presentation slides are not complete.
tomorrow, is the presentation day. DIE! mati! DIE!
okay nights people.
even the BF is very tired and sleepy.
even the Sayang is too.
monday blues..
coming to tuesday whites.
no link. shut up!
kay bye
love,
bsyra
10:32 PM
